How We Secretly Self-Sabotage When Swiping Right

How We Secretly Self-Sabotage When Swiping Right

In the past decade, few cultural norms have undergone a more drastic change than dating – and we have the popularization of the dating app to thank for that. But as we all continue to digitize our day-to-day existence and become increasingly reliant on connecting through texts and DMs, it’s a trend that’s only continued to grow.

In 2013, only 5 percent of people ages 18 to 24 used dating apps. According to the Pew Research Center, the amount of users leapt to 22 percent in 2016. This once highly stigmatized social media platform has somehow become the de facto way to date, a process that has also continued to mystify many.

I’ll be the first to admit that I – as someone who’s met every single one of their long-term relationships, hookup buddies, and summer romances thanks to the swipe factory – have experienced my fair share of dating app disappointment.

But from negative experiences always come a little bit of learning, right? After literally sending thousands of messages and going on hundreds of dates, I’ve found that one thing has remained consistent: Allowing yourself to phone it in because you’re on an app is probably the worst thing you can do. That said, this wasn’t a lesson that came easy.

Equipped with this mindset, I assumed I’d meet my soulmate on a dating app sooner rather than later, because, just so long as I kept checking profiles and hitting the “Like” button, things were bound to work out, right?

“With successful relationships, it’s about what happened after they met. You have to realize that when they eventually get married, that’s not on the apps.” – Dr. Carbino

As someone who grew up as the odd one out in an extremely conservative, wealthy, and predominantly white town, I was a big old ball of insecurity who never really felt like I was desirable until the concept of online dating was introduced to me.